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January 2008 Archives

January 15, 2008

Mack was stabbed: An eyewitness account from Neal Holman.

At the January 12th CD release show for Attractive Eighties Women, Mack was the victim of an unusual attack. A glass thrown on stage cut his arm wide open, covering the stage with blood, and leading to a dramatic end to the show. Luckily, fellow Spider Monkey Neal Holman was on the front row and on the case:

The scene goes more or less like this:

I’m at the debut album release party for Attractive Eighties Women inside the smoke filled Earl. I’m a few drinks deep, a light buzz, but functional. The night has only started, as the band is just four songs into their set. They’ve never sounded better. They’ve never had a bigger or better crowd. The night is going exceedingly, shockingly well, for them, for me, for that girl with the giant fake boobs in the white sweater, everybody. And just as I’m having the epiphany “Wow, my friends are actually in a ‘real’ band. This is kind of--

There’s a flash of blonde hair, a glass shatters nearby, and three feet in front of me, AEW’s charismatic front man Mack Williams is clutching his wrist as what can only be described as “a gooshing river of blood” … gooshed forth, to his and everyone else’s dismay.

Continue reading "Mack was stabbed: An eyewitness account from Neal Holman."

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January 14, 2008

END MISANDRY NOW

Shelly plays an inconsiderate asshole who gets what's coming to her.Despite recently stripping naked for Sugar in the Raw, the all-time most popular Shelly-centric commercial is decidedly last year's T-Mobile Telegram spot. We recently took a look at the youtube page for this commercial and were surprised to see it had been viewed 67,000 times and had over 70 comments! The comments include the expected descriptions of Shelly as "hot" and "adorable," a startling accusation that the singer is a "looser," and a lengthy debate between Shelly's fans and a protective "relative" who refused to give up Shelly's name to the masses. Our favorite comments include:

nedlogamerica: "He he ... lol... guy in the suit is a looser"

Jaxster03: "omg. i thought that guy was a hamster, but my boyfriend told me that he was a bear. I felt so retarded. I think that a singing hamster is funnier than a singing bear[:"

BrooklynGangsta4865: "omg that's such a bad reason to break up
They look old enough why don't they live together???"

SterlingSolomon: "Stamp Out? Male-Bashing! END MISANDRY NOW!"

And for those of you who do not understand the commercial, we have this excellent explanation from Nekrochik12:
"thats so freakin funny lol
she was all excited and it wasnt wut she expected lol"

But best of all, Rachel, Shay, and "Counter" created their own amazing version of the commercial. Who needs balloons and a bear suit when you have a plastic rooster and no lights?

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January 3, 2008

Shelly: Naked

One day they're sitting in their crib, making wholesome sketch comedy, and the next, they're running down the beach, throwing their bikini to the ground, and skinny-dipping on national television, all for the sake of unprocessed sugar.

New commercial starring Shelly.

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